For those of you who do not know me very well, i am a fickle being

I am more often than not proud to be a Gemini female...but it does have its down sides. I have the attention span of a wombat, i have a nervous energy that often does more harm than good and have a bitch rating of A** (once i get on a role).

I often do find myself at a cross roads... i just cannot sit still and the thought of living a boring life stops me from achieving anything. Its like i enjoy drama and chaos!!! I want to be a great artist or at least have people recognise the work i do. Part of me feels like i have failed aready as i am in a job that has nothing to do with my degree but the other side loves it because i can talk the socks off of anyone that steps thru my shop door.

Things have not exactly been going well for me recently and i don't really think anyone is to blame for it but it has made me feel sorry for myself in a big way. I want to just hide away and hope that it just disappears but i doubt it will happen This is where drink and friends are great!

Upon re-reading my gemini 'traits' recently it has made me feel that they are essentially calling me a shallow being!? because i know a little about alot and change my mind like the wind? is it a bad thing to be so open minded?

The strange thing is all this recent chaos has made me crack my sketchbook out and start drawing again...its just a shame its more of a diary...some of the pictures are too private to show...as they are quite personal and with the way im feeling its not a good move just now

So in my current state of mind i look to the stars to help me explain how i feel...but who knows what it will be next week

meh....

rules of the tag:

1) once you have been tagged you must tell 8 things about yourself

2) afterwards you must tag 8 people, all diff (btw you only have to write their names down)

3) you must send a note to all people you have tagged!

4) you cant tag the person who tagged you!


things about me:
1.I love my large scar on my chest
2.I am the manageress of a well know shop
3.I dream of having chickens, Quails and pigs
4.I can never understand why people are so evil sometimes...no it really throws me off.
5.I really wish i could just disappear sometimes but would feel bad.
6.I live with my boyfriend 'gregreg' who is my longest relationship of 4yrs
7. think Tarsiars are beautiful and we should look after them not eat them!!!
8.I am very scared of the dark as you don't know what is out there

there you are all very boring...off i go to tag people

There is nothing better to give you a kick up the backside than the threat of losing your job



Well today i turned 26! woop
Bitter sweet really as i love birthdays but the older i get the more i start to dread them.
At 26 i should have at least had some illustrations published but no...I am too afraid of failure that i have partly given up trying. I was so sure i knew what and where i was going to be by the time i hit 26.

I always book a week off for my birthday to enjoy the fun and festivities but the only things i have planned is a birthday meal, my good friend has arranged, and a trip to good old skegness aka skeg vegas! to see the seal centre

I am also hoping that this week will give me time to reflect and try and find myself...i hardly recognise myself now. I work desperatly to keep my shop from going under (thank you goverment!!!) and I am so tired from the stress i just gaze out of the bedroom or kitchen window at home giggling like a crazy at person at the birds.

I seem to say this sort of thing alot...im sure if i go back to last years birthday journal it would be basically the same! This time tho i feel more seperated from friends than ever before. I am so isolated in Lincoln that i seem to have lost all inspiration....i have fun friends here but they are just not arty enough to keep my fire going. I recently had a catch up with some old foundation friends and left feeling so down as they had achieved so much more than I...i felt like the loser. yes i am a manager of a shop and yes i enjoy it but this is not where i was meant to be now!
My dad told me recently about how proud he was of the person i have become...also thanks to my boyfriend but i still feel that i am not the person he thinks i am...or maybe i am.
random ranting...to heavy for such a joyful day! I joined a website called Artician the other week...think i may use it more as a portfolio...although gregory has told me there are better ones out there....
Anyway Mr.Gregory has set the fire alarm off (again) so breakfast must be ready hahahaha
speak soon xxx

Any fed back or suggestions are very very welcome!

There is nothing better to give you a kick up the backside than the threat of losing your job



I was wondering if anyone had an view on the Mr.Site...website in a box? I think i should sort myself out a website before i have no job or money
I am always being told to sell my work but then tax freaks me out? is it as scary as i think?
I have started looking at possible jobs but one is in Brentford...anyone know what that place is like? haha its all up in the air at the moment and my focus is everywhere!
To be honest i would love my own shop but i think that would be a bad idea at the moment

Any fed back or suggestions are very very welcome!